The Confidence Effect: Why Starting Is the Hardest Part

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how resilient women are.
We really can do it all.

But the truth is, sometimes the hardest part is simply starting.

Starting the reorder you’ve been meaning to place.
Refreshing that front table that hasn’t changed in weeks.
Trying a new brand that feels different from your usual mix.
Hosting the styling event you’ve been thinking about.
Making the calls you’ve been postponing.

It’s funny how in business — just like in life — the weight of starting can feel heavier than the doing itself.

It’s funny how something small can feel so big before we begin.

Recently, I was traveling internationally again for work, with my life stretched across two countries and two time zones. There were moments where I sat in a small café in Argentina, journaling with a coffee in hand, feeling excited and a little nervous at the same time.

But once I started moving forward — meeting people, solving problems, taking the next step — something shifted.
Confidence started to build.

That’s when I remembered something important:
Confidence works a lot like compound interest.
You start with something small.
Then that fuels the next step.
And suddenly you’re moving forward with a completely different energy.
For me, a big part of that energy comes from the women around me. The friends who lift you up, remind you of who you are, and stand beside you when things feel uncertain.
Good girlfriends are everything.
Add to that a few inspiring podcasts, conversations with women who motivate me, and suddenly that momentum builds even more.

Soon you feel like you’re floating a little — carried forward by that positive energy.
And sometimes it’s the smallest rituals that keep that momentum going.
Putting on a belt that pulls an outfit together before heading out the door.
Organizing a corner of your closet.
Creating a little beauty and order around you.
Little moments that say: I’m ready for today.
My hope is that energy is contagious.
That maybe you’ll start that one thing you’ve been putting off.
Even if it’s small.

Because once you start… confidence has a beautiful way of taking over.
And before you know it, you’re on your own kick-butt trajectory.

— Ada Deferrari

Frequently Asked Questions About Confidence and Starting Over

Why is starting something new so hard?

Starting is hard because our brains are wired to avoid uncertainty. When we haven’t begun, the task feels bigger than it actually is. Once we take action, the fear shrinks and clarity increases.

Does confidence come before action?

No. Confidence follows action.
You build confidence by doing — even in small ways. Every completed action creates proof that you are capable.

How can women over 40 rebuild confidence?

Women over 40 can rebuild confidence by:

• Taking small daily actions

• Creating simple routines

• Surrounding themselves with supportive friends

• Completing one task at a time

• Celebrating small wins

Confidence grows through repetition, not perfection.

What are small ways to start building momentum?

Some simple starting points:

• Organize one drawer

• Go for a 10-minute walk

• Put on an outfit that feels put together

• Send the email you’ve been postponing

• Finish one chapter of a book

Small starts create emotional momentum.

How does community impact confidence?

Supportive friendships and encouraging conversations reinforce identity. When women feel seen and supported, their willingness to take action increases.

Confidence grows faster in a community.

What is the “Confidence Effect”?

The Confidence Effect is the idea that confidence compounds over time. Small actions create belief. Belief fuels bigger action. Over time, this creates lasting self-trust and forward momentum.